Mrs. Magoo

So life is moving along nicely I believe. I have a great job and am getting my routine of it down, laundry on weekend’s errands too. Weekends are always busy for me but I like busy. I am taking a writing course on Tuesday nights which I am very excited about who knows I may write a book after all one day if for no other reason than to purge my computer of all these saved files.  Poor thing gets as many brain freezes as I do now. Can a computer have CRS too? I don’t know but I surely get it more often these days with my busy, exciting new beginning of my next life. My do over.

I went for a mammogram yesterday in an unfamiliar area of Metairie and my wonderful GPS got me to the location but I didn’t see the building and I thought she was lying to me again. She told me I had arrived at my destination on the right but I didn’t see it. I drove to the next street and I took the next corner and thinking I would drive around the block and sneak up on it again to perhaps see it this time  since I knew where to look for it now. I turned right then took another right but the big yellow sign said dead end so I turned into an entrance to what appeared to be a parking lot behind a strip mall. As I crept into the parking lot, I saw a building that said Diagnostic Imaging and I knew I was where I was supposed to be. I parked my car in the nearest spot, which was right outside of the place I needed to be. I felt like Mr. Magoo, because the Lord seems to push me in the right way all the time, even putting a dead end in my path to force me to take the turn I needed to. So yes in the eyes of God I am Mrs. Magoo.

I really was nearsighted, but had Lasik surgery to correct that vision problem but still have to rely on glasses for reading. Lasik couldn't help with my spiritual vision I am still nearsighted in spiritual matters and I need to rely on God so much more to direct all my steps in my life. I often look back and laugh because unlike Mr. Magoo, I recognize when I have been handled ever so lovingly and gently by my daddy and I feel so blessed and am consoled by knowing that I am covered all the time. Like a good neighbor, I am in good hands; He is my blessed assurance as long as I continue to look up.  I will never stray off His path, because He won’t let me right now. I want to stray sometimes, I confess that, but He loves me so much and wants to protect me, that it is impossible right now.

I tried to donate blood today, and was turned down because of the melanoma I had two years. I don’t know why I cried most of the way home. I was sad that I had neglected to donate for two years and I was just finding this out. I was shocked that the stupid little cancer thing I had discounted as minor and insignificant has become a barricade to something I love to do. And once again I have to tell Steve he was right and this makes me miss him so badly. Ironically I am having a fat lip day too so I suppose it just brought it all home again. Steve is gone, I don’t have a shoulder to cry on or at least the shoulder I want to cry on. When I say I don’t have a shoulder you know I mean physical shoulder because trust me I have cried it out to God, He knows it all and has heard it all from me.  I just want a man hug I guess and miss getting them from Steve.  I guess I will have to find some other way to donate something, time, money etc for the next three years. Is it a new direction the Lord is leading me in? I will have to just take it in stride, and try not to feel so rejected and set my nearsighted eyes on the path I think I am on.

So I am muddling about, head in the clouds, eyes up and down trying to focus on what needs to be focused on. I am adjusting well and thanking God for all of it. One day when I die, I will be satisfied but until then I thirst for holiness and hunger for God’s love and yearn to be led by my Good Shepherd. I am about my Father’s business (most days, wink, wink) and when I am not, I am on my knees.