Well I came through my giant leap of faith into the next phase of my new life feeling so drunk on life and I can only describe it as AWESOME! I can see the appeal to jumping from an airplane at 14,000 feet and feeling a rush that I can only describe as AWESOME. I laughed like a drunken fool all the way down as well because the joy I felt as my new life was birthed just bubbled up from so deep inside my wounded soul that it had nowhere else to go but out into the atmosphere. I only hope some of my joy fell on some down trodden people and picked them up for a minute or two. It had to have because I was so full I thought I would explode. I know my tandem instructor probably thought I was a crazy old lady, but who cares. I had the time of my life and will gladly do it all again. Any takers??
I didn’t know adrenaline was a drug, I was euphoric for a day and felt the crash after, but I also feel such a deep settled peace within my spirit like a breakthrough has definitely occurred. For the first time in a long time, I feel my feet firmly planted on a path and I will walk with surer steps now. Of course this is all a process of me becoming the woman God is calling me to me in spite of myself and stubborn inclinations. I know God did not say Renee jump out of a plane so we can get this party started. He knew the desires of my heart and used that and my faith in Him and His love for me to get my party started. Jumping was a big sign for me because I don’t do subtle hints too well. I think I may be a direct descendent of Thomas. So God mingled with my wonderful adventurous self and brought me back to earth safely and placed me on His path.
I won’t recommend it as a means to jumpstart your life, we all have our own desires, but it sure worked for me and made me feel more alive than I have in such a long time. I am unafraid to step out and do things because I know my timing is in God’s hands. This is why the missionaries in those dark forests can do what they do for so long. They don’t fear death; they fear not doing what God had planned for their lives. Well healthy fear is a good thing. God gives us adventurous hearts for him and the world makes us afraid to use them. We have become overcautious an overprotective of this body God has given us. It is said our body is a temple of God we must keep it pure and healthy. Well this is true enough but we must also realize how portable it is. We can take it to far away places and not be a feared of walking in those places because God loves and protects what is His. I will over use mine for His glory and His intentions and never worry about the minor details of caution. I am bold as I was born and will use it for His glory. I don’t mean to say I will be stupid about it like jump out of an airplane without a parachute and expected a mighty hand to rescue me. I will not handle snakes or scorpions unless directed to and with the caution of my wonderful God created mind. I will not be reckless with myself, I will be wise about my life but I am totally unafraid to walk forward knowing my days are in His hands and I can do nothing about the timing. In His time all is made perfect.
There is a time for everything and my mourning has run the full gamut of the seasons. I am in summer and want to bask in the SON of summer as long as I can. This is the breakthrough I intend to live in. I have time but it is His time. So cliché to live each day as if it is your last, but so true none the less. I will push the envelope and make each day as fun and exciting as I can for me and those I come into contact with. Joy rules and excessive laughing while falling 120 mph dries your mouth out by the way. Next time I will smile the whole way down maybe….. stay tuned, life is getting fun again.
