Wednesday, April 2, 2014

The end. The Beginning

So yes it has been a very long time since last I blogged. And I believe in my heart this may be the absolute last chapter of mourning for me. Spring is here and my winter is finally over.
I have often said over these past 3 and 1/2 years, that I feel like a teenager at times starting my life over and not sure of my future like so many years ago when I joined the Navy. I will say, I have questioned whether this time of mourning is respectful or long enough but I know my husband, and he is fine with my life as it is now. He loved me enough to want me to be happy and to find another man to make a life with. We spoke about it often sometimes jokingly but mostly serious. It seems no matter how much we plan our lives, they are never really our own. God has a plan and His hands are in everybit of my life.

It seems God had other plans for me nearly a year ago. I went to a class reunion with absolutely no expectations but to have a good time and visit with friends I hadn't seen in thirty or so years. I went with a girlfriend who I work with and another male classmate asked if he could tag along with us. We wholeheartedly agreed since he volunteered to be our designated driver for the two nights of reunion events. He was always such a nice fun guy in high school so sure, the more the merrier. The three of us and our whole class had more fun than we could remember. I really enjoyed dancing and living life again. I believe I danced away a few demons that weekend.

Well this very nice gentleman classmate asked me if perhaps we could make a play date for our grandkids and I thought it was a great idea. So we did that and spent a few months talking and hanging out and yes I call it that because that is what it was until it wasn't. So yes, we are dating and enjoying  talking about the possibility of a future together. Can you believe that? I know I can't either. It just happened, and now I feel excited about the possibility of this relationship. I have to say it took many hours of processing and patience. He is so kind and considerate of my feelings and mourning out the rest of it. And because of this, I feel clean, like the last bit of burial shroud is gone and I can run, dance and fly all at the same time. So this is what real breakthrough feels like or is it love or both? Who cares, I just like having someone in my life again that I can share everything with.

I am so grateful to God for sending me such a generous, Godly man. So cheers, all. Here's to the end of my mourning life, and the beginning of my new life. WOO HOO. God bless you Steve, I am HAPPY again. I will see you again one day soon my first love. You will like this ex marine and we will have lots to talk about.

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