Ramblin's of my Inner Child

I guess when the juices flow you must answer and get to a keyboard. Tonight I am trying to sleep an old song is going through my mind. I will sing it to you since you can’t hear my voice but it is quite alright to cringe at the sound of my imaginary voice, I do. “Just what makes that little ole ant think he can move a rubber tree plant, everyone knows and ant can’t move a rubber tree plant” (everyone sing with me) “But He’s got High hopes, He’s got high hopes, He’s got high apple pie in the sky hopes”. Now if that isn’t how the song goes, my apologies to the writers, but it is the way it’s rattling around in my head tonight. I guess my spirit is trying to tell me something, huh?

Could it be my great expectations for my future now that I have my voice back again so I can sing? I was humming a lot today too. Have you ever wondered why we sing or whistle when we are content or doing a task?  The bible talks about groanings from our spirit and yes I agree sometimes my singing voice sounds more like a groan, but when it bubbles up I can’t help  but have a song on my lips. If you have seen the Disney movie The Little Mermaid when Ariel offers her voice up to the sea witch in return for her legs it sort of bubbles up and out of her and this is the word picture of how I see my “groaning”. How many times have I hummed or sung the words to a song I haven’t thought of in years, like the rubber tree plant song. Really? Who sings that song on a daily basis and I can’t even remember the movie it was in. But the message my spirit wanted me to sing and proclaim is to have high hopes, crazy high apple pie in the sky hopes (what does this actually mean?) Is this like the cow jumped over the moon high? I believe it is stupid, giddy, crazy dreaming hopes that I laid down so many years ago to mature into this wonderful adult person that I am now. I abandoned my inner child.

I set aside my dreams of chocolate palaces and of ever getting my fantasy television wrist watch so I would never miss an episode of I Dream of Jeannie.  These are high apple pie (I really prefer chocolate pie) dreams that appear to be beyond my imagination now. Beatrix Potter, Dr. Seuss, Walt Disney, Steven Spielberg imaginations. My imagination went dormant when I got mature enough to grow up. I left it behind except for the few times I told a wild tale to keep me or someone out of trouble. Yes those incidences will forever be my secret so doesn’t ask. Yes they were lies I confess, but surrounded by a great tale of imagination.

 So where do imaginations go? Where does our childlike enthusiasm go? Well I have seen flashes of childish imaginations when fans dress up for football games in silly makeup or costumes. Imagine being so filled with absolute joy that is bubbles out in a whoop or a holler and perhaps a dance around the living room floor after a touchdown. If that sounds familiar, you still have spark of your inner child alive and well and that is where I believe hope lives too. Glimpses of childish glee is fine for starters, but I want it all back except the part about not being able to talk or walk and messing in diapers. Yeah, yeah I know old age, but have you noticed how some older people have that twinkle in their eyes as they start living in the past of their childhood. Some older people have had to be so serious all their lives that the twinkle left in childhood.

I think it's good to get back in touch with our inner child, so we can see hope again and dream big dreams and maybe even pursue them now. Why just me rambling on in this blog is childish don’t you think? It's just like a kid to give you all the details of their life even the stuff you don’t want to hear. It's just as if the child down deep has kicked the door opened and burst in screaming "I want some apple pie!" Yeah and I will have it in the sky, with a guy, with diamonds on his face. (Yes this is the actual thought that went through my head as I typed that. So childish I know). I know the spirited inner child is trying to get my life kick started again, but this time I will integrate her with my adult self and the spirit of God who dwells within me will add the wisdom I never knew to ask for before. I am now a child fully loaded. Watch me roar! (Or purr, it depends on the circumstances.)