Ok so the day has come, tomorrow is the day Steve and I would have celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary which is the Pearl one. I didn't know this, but Steve knew and he had me pick out a pearl necklace at a jewelry store back home. He was looking forward to buying me a pearl necklace for our anniversary this year and was disappointed when I chose a single pearl necklace. Pearls are nice, but I tend to be a minimalist and loved the beauty and simplicity of that one teardrop pearl I selected. It turns out it doesn't matter anyhow because we never made it to tomorrow.
Happy Anniversary my love,the words just fly through the air and I hope they hit their intended target, YOU. it will be the most lonely one I have ever had. I remember complaining when you weren’t home for our anniversary a couple of times, being out on the road on those long hauls, but nothing compares to the distance of this year. I would gladly take back those whiny disappointments because there always came a celebration, no matter how long delayed. I long to share a simple meal, a laugh and perhaps even some wine with you tomorrow. So it will be a busy day again, as I look for some distraction to ease my sadness. It is funny how we have two days for my sadness to bubble up, tomorrow and the anniversary of our first wedding at the Silver Bell Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas. That was our official day, but Aug 2 was the day we got to share with family and friends and have the church bless our union. This was the day we chose to celebrate because it was a standalone celebration for us with no holiday activities to interfere with our day.
I looked forward to this milestone year as did you. You were like a little kid about that pearl necklace making me choose one so far ahead of our day. I bet you couldn’t wait until this anniversary so I suspect I would have gotten it in possibly for Christmas then tomorrow something else to match it. I know you Steve. It may not have happened that way exactly but it’s so nice to know how excited you were, and this memory carries me through tomorrow. I have a very vivid imagination and see it played out nicely and perfectly in my head. All I keep saying is “Thank God we celebrated with Ireland already”. That was big and I have the pictures to prove it. I am eternally grateful to God you were there with me and we had a fun trip. Steve did you know your time here with me was coming to an end. Is that why we blessedly did that trip in advance? Is that why I knew a year ahead I would be getting a pearl necklace?
Tomorrow is Aug 2, 2011 A.S. just another day in the life of me. It will fly under the radar and the day will ebb and flow just like all other days. I will be sad, but I am much happier than sad to have had so many years with you. I spent more days with you than apart, and these will carry me through tomorrow as they have each day since last year. I keep telling you that you married a strong woman. I keep telling myself that too so I won’t forget it. God is my strong tower and He will keep me through the day tomorrow by sending angels my way to keep me busy. He has already gone before and arranged my distractions. We will be blessed with another visit from my sister and my nieces tomorrow, and believe me no one can be sad with those precious angels around. On Wednesday I will see my beautiful daughter and Thursday I travel for the weekend to see my YaYa's and visit with my sons in Alabama for the first bridal shower. How exciting for me to be lavished with so many precious gems over this anniversary week. Love surrounds me still, who can be sad, well maybe just a little, but how can it remain? I won't be inviting it to stay.
So again I say Happy Anniversary darling. I am so glad you got everything you ever wanted and have a parking spot up front. You were always favored here on earth and I am sure that is where you are in Heaven too. Just so you know, I never wanted pearls anyway, I just wanted you to be happy, and so you are. Happy Anniversary to me to know you have the best gift ever.
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