UNCLE (for now)

I have been steadily working on my house so much I am exhausted. Today I threw a tantrum after I reached the end of my rope. I have been painting with brush and spray paint repairing things and using the power screwdriver a bit. Yesterday I was proud of my accomplishments, but today was another story. As I tried to finish work on the air vents in the ceiling I was putting up the last two and I had a mini breakdown. I couldn’t for the life of me get the screws to go in or stay in. My hands were sore and burning from a touch of arthritis I assume from the constant gripping I have been doing. They were also burning from the cuts and scrapes I got from handling these metal vents and the heavy screwdriver. The vents win today I declared as I sat down and just cried out my frustration at not having my man around to do this. Again I felt sorry for myself and cried about how unfair all this seems.

I had been having a productive week up until this point of weariness. I actually hurt all over physically and mentally and would love to just sit down and pout. Of course I can’t do that so tomorrow I will get the liquid nails out and voila, problem solved. I will wait until I can get my arms feel less wobbly again and I will kick the butt of those stupid air vents, which were dirty but now look like new. I cannot let a little problem like this derail my progress. I need to get this place ready to sell and cannot afford to hire anyone to do it for me. My girls will have the same problems as I would, not enough strength to screw a nail through metal. I admit I am female and do not have the strength a man does, I am so not a women’s libber, I know my limitations.

So tomorrow is another day, duct tape and glue may be the answer to the rest of my problems, but it doesn’t matter it will get done. I have had family volunteer to help, my pride keeps me from asking them because it is such a long drive for them. As I work, so I grieve I get mad, I get sad, I laugh at myself. This house and I have to say our goodbye’s and we are wrestling with each other. Neither of us wants to see me leave, but it has to be. Soon she will give in and be a good girl again and allow me to pretty her up for her brand new family. Well I have to go soak my hands in some Epson salt so I can be fresh for tomorrow’s battle and I will win.