Lunch and Brown Pants

Two great and fun things happened yesterday. I went to lunch with some friends from high school and I bought some brown pants. I know it doesn’t sound like much but it was a great pick me up and fun. There hasn’t been too much fun in my life lately everything has been too much work, so a different experience was nice and I needed brown pants. Since Christmas is now past, I seem to be feeling better. Was I dreading it that much? I wanted to enjoy it more. I don’t know what happened to me other than grief. Yeah I will blame it on that for now and not the fact that I may have been hormonal. Whatever, I want 2011 to be a good year. I will still grieve, but I feel like I passed a milestone in the grieving process.

Today is such a beautiful day and I know I sound chemically imbalanced and I might be right now. I surely feel off kilter and not myself. Usually when I blog it is how I am feeling at that moment or the moments leading up to that one. Today I am in good form and so I blog about it. In a few hours it may not be this way. I like roller coasters well enough but this is ridiculous. I want to set a new pattern for normal but am unable to do this yet so while in transition, I blog. I am excited to get back home to pick up where I left off getting ready for a move in my life. I am now feeling energized again and anxious to work again. The blobs are gone for now, so I need to get productive while it is cleared you know a turn in the weather has happened. I know it will rain again, so I want to do all I can now and not save for a rainy day.

I listened to a song yesterday and heard the words. This is a breakthrough for me since everything on the radio and television and even some conversations have been bla, bla, bla in my ears. I won’t tell the person I am talking to that is what I hear, I just smile politely and agree mostly. It is strange how my listening skills have been affected. I guess my mind has been so distracted a fog set in. I tried to read something for this new job I will be doing and it was all foggy and I couldn’t comprehend much. I really thought I needed to pass on the job since it wouldn’t be fair to try to train me for it while my mind just isn’t working right. I think if I read it today, I may comprehend it. I hope I do at least, because I know I am not an imbecile and all this forgetfulness has been making me feel this way. I may be reengaging again in life. Ok I know I have said all this before probably, but can I have my moment of hope, please. I feel like something is unstopped and I am going forth.

I got my brown pants on, my computer in my lap and say to the world who knows I hate math, 12x12=144 (ok yes I checked it on my calculator so I didn’t look too stupid and I was correct). I feel great today more like my old self. Was it the lunch, the brown pants or just the right time? Yes God brought all these together for my good because I love Him and want to be healed and move on. I have so much to do in my life and I cannot be stuck in the mud. There are lots of wonderful things coming to our family this year and I have to get my act together. The joy of the Lord is my pleasure and my strength today and I want to keep this with me at all times. Have a wonderful day to all my friends who keep tabs on me through this crazy blog I know my day is blessed and I like forward progress.